Living Apart Together (LAT): A Growing Trend Among California Couples Over 50

More and more California couples over 50 are choosing to share their lives without sharing an address. Known as Living Apart Together (LAT), this relationship model allows couples to remain committed while maintaining separate households. For many, LAT relationships offer the emotional connection of a partnership without the complications of marriage or cohabitation.

While this arrangement can be ideal for those seeking independence or wishing to preserve their financial and family arrangements, LAT relationships present unique legal and financial challenges. Understanding these implications is crucial for couples who want to protect their assets, inheritance rights, and healthcare decision-making authority.

What Is a Living Apart Together Relationship?

A Living Apart Together relationship is a committed partnership where both individuals maintain separate residences. Unlike traditional cohabitation or marriage, LAT partners do not live under the same roof.

For California seniors, LAT offers freedom and flexibility while still providing companionship and emotional support. However, because LAT partners are not married or registered as domestic partners, they have no automatic legal rights or responsibilities toward each other.

Why More California Couples Over 50 Are Choosing LAT

There are several reasons LAT relationships are becoming more common among older adults in California:

Changing social norms have made alternative relationship structures more accepted. Many individuals who have experienced divorce or widowhood are reluctant to remarry due to the legal and financial entanglements that come with marriage.

Others value independence. Living separately allows each partner to maintain their own routines, finances, and privacy while still sharing a romantic connection.

Blended families are another factor. Older adults often have adult children or grandchildren and wish to preserve family inheritances or prevent disputes over property and assets.

Legal Implications of LAT Relationships in California

While LAT relationships provide personal flexibility, they also come with legal limitations that couples must carefully consider.

Because LAT partners are not married or in a domestic partnership, they do not have spousal rights under California law. This means that, without legal planning, one partner may have no authority to make medical decisions if the other becomes incapacitated, no rights to shared property unless explicitly designated, and no inheritance rights if the other partner dies without a will.

Property ownership can also become complicated. If couples buy property together, they must carefully decide how to title it, such as joint tenancy or tenants in common, to ensure the asset passes according to their wishes.

Financial and Inheritance Considerations

Many couples over 50 entering LAT relationships want to preserve financial independence. They may have retirement accounts, pensions, or life insurance policies that name children from a prior marriage as beneficiaries.

California intestacy laws do not automatically recognize unmarried partners. If one partner dies without a will, assets generally pass to family members, not to a romantic partner. This can lead to unintended consequences and disputes among surviving loved ones.

Beneficiary designations on life insurance, retirement plans, and bank accounts must be reviewed to ensure they reflect current wishes. Couples should also consider potential tax implications when transferring property or assets between non-married partners.

Protecting Your Interests in a LAT Relationship

To safeguard rights and avoid future conflicts, LAT couples should consider several key legal documents:

  • Cohabitation agreements or LAT relationship contracts can define financial arrangements, property rights, and expectations for shared expenses.
  • Healthcare directives and powers of attorney ensure that a partner has decision-making authority in medical emergencies.
  • Wills and trusts can clarify inheritance rights, prevent family disputes, and bypass probate for certain assets.
  • Updating beneficiary designations on retirement accounts, life insurance policies, and bank accounts ensures assets pass according to current wishes.

Taking these steps can protect both partners while preserving the independence that makes LAT relationships appealing.

Comparing LAT, Marriage, and Domestic Partnerships for Seniors

Marriage provides automatic spousal rights for property, inheritance, and healthcare decisions. However, for older adults, marriage can also create financial complications, such as potential loss of pension benefits or survivor benefits from a prior spouse.

Domestic partnerships offer some (but not all) of the legal protections of marriage under California law. They may be an option for some couples, but they require registration with the state and carry certain legal obligations.

LAT relationships, on the other hand, provide maximum independence but require proactive legal planning to avoid unintended consequences.

Real-Life Scenarios for California LAT Couples

Consider a retired couple in Los Angeles who each own separate homes and have adult children from prior marriages. They enjoy their relationship but want to preserve their properties for their children. By drafting wills, creating healthcare directives, and establishing a cohabitation agreement, they ensure their wishes are respected while maintaining their independence.

Contrast this with a situation where one partner becomes seriously ill without a healthcare directive. The partner may have no legal authority to make decisions, leaving family members in control and potentially shutting out the surviving partner entirely.

Steps to Take Before Entering a LAT Relationship

Before starting or formalizing a LAT relationship, couples should:

  • Discuss financial expectations and property ownership arrangements.
  • Consult with a California family law attorney to draft necessary agreements.
  • Consider working with an estate planning attorney to create wills, trusts, and healthcare directives.
  • Review and update plans as relationships, health, or financial circumstances change.

Proactive planning can prevent misunderstandings and protect both partners and their families.

How Madigan & Lewis, LLP Can Help

At Madigan & Lewis, LLP, we understand the unique challenges facing couples over 50 who choose LAT relationships. Our attorneys provide personalized guidance on family law matters, helping clients protect assets, maintain independence, and ensure healthcare and inheritance rights align with their wishes.

Building Secure LAT Relationships in California

Living Apart Together relationships offer older California couples the freedom to maintain independence while enjoying committed partnerships. However, without proper legal planning, LAT relationships can create unintended risks regarding healthcare, inheritance, and property rights.

By consulting with experienced family law attorneys such as those at Madigan & Lewis, LLP, couples can protect their interests, prevent future disputes, and ensure their relationship and legacy are secure.

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